Musings ~ Part 1

Musings ~ a period of reflection or thoughts

Lately I've been more cognizant of the thoughts in my head and have felt the need to jot them down. Not really sure why I've felt this desire, but here we are.

Last week, while glancing at the date, I realized it was 13 days until the anniversary of Samuel's death. I wondered what he was doing 12 years ago, not knowing he only had 13 days left to live. I wondered what I was doing that same day, not knowing my first born son would be gone in 13 days. 

I can't believe Elijah leaves for college in a few weeks! Where has the time gone?! I told him one night to hurry home because I couldn't go to sleep with him out. He asked what I going to do when he was gone to college? Not sleep? Probably not. 

We are going to be empty nesters!  Such a strange thought. I haven't been without kids since I was 18. 

What's the purpose of the rest of my life?

Gosh I could go for a big, greasy slice of NY pizza! Mary's Deli pizza from home. 

I haven't been knitting recently and I miss it. Time just seems to get away from me and I feel like I've done nothing! 

I love my silver hair, but I sometimes miss my black hair. 

Do we really have to go back into the office in a few months? I don't think I'm ready. 

Hiking in the woods gives you plenty of time with the voices in your head. 

I hope my wildflowers and sunflowers grow. I really miss growing sunflowers. 

Sewing with rayon is not fun! 

I've been feeling out of sorts the past few weeks. I think it's because my momma heart knows the anniversary of Samuel's death is coming up and sometimes I feel I've never truly dealt with it, if that makes any sense. Even after 12 years. I'm good at being in denial. Still.....

I'm tired.